I’ve spent a lot of time sharing jokes with fellow wharf rats…
I’ve heard my share of salty, nautical jokes…
But through it all, this is my all-time, favorite maritime knee slapper.
~ Captain Ray
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a British sea Captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.
As the crew became frantic, the Captain calmly instructed his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!”
The First Mate quickly retrieved the Captain’s red shirt, which the Captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred . . . the pirates were repelled.
The British crew sailed on feeling triumphant.
Later that day, the lookout yelled out that now there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the Captain, calm as ever, instructed, “Bring me my red shirt!”
And once again the battle was on, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an Ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?”
The Captain, giving the Ensign a look that only a Captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show my wounds and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid.”
The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout again called out that there were pirate ships approaching. But this time, there was 10 pirate ships, all with boarding parties heading towards the British sea vessel.
The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
The Captain shifted his eyes nervously… then bellowed, “Bring me my BROWN PANTS!”
